Sexual Abuse and Children
There is probably nothing as frightening for a parent as the fear of having a child sexually abused. It is not clear if child sexual abuse is happening more these days, or if people are just more likely to talk about it.
It is never okay for an adult to have sex with a child, even if the child seems to consent or even seems to want it. These are common excuses that child sexual abusers give. It is important for parents to be aware of what the usual “child molester” is like. Most people have ideas that are wrong and that may put their children into dangerous situations.
People usually fear that strangers may sexually assault their child. Most abusers are relatives, friends, neighbors, or people that the child knows socially. Most use the child’s trust in them rather than using force to get cooperation. Many do not believe that they are doing anything wrong and may seem to be people who love children.
Most child sexual abusers are male but there are females who engage in this as well. Do not trust your child to someone just because she is a woman. Many people are afraid that gay men will assault their children. The typical abuser is a straight man. He may identify as straight even if his usual victims are small boys.
Children are usually abused by someone of their own race. There is no reason to fear that someone else from another race or another culture is more likely to assault your child. Child abusers and abused children come from all incomes, from the very rich to the very poor.
Teaching your child about “good touch” and “bad touch” early on will help protect your child. Also teach your child about “good secrets” and “bad secrets”. A good secret is something like not saying what someone’s Christmas present is ahead of time. A bad secret is a secret that the child feels guilty about, or is only keeping because a grown-up made him or her promise. Encourage your child to be honest with you.
If you suspect that a child is being abused, contact the local police or child abuse authorities. If a child you care for has been abused already, seek help for her or him. Child sexual abuse is a terrible thing, treatment is important.